5.22.2006

picking on the paint

some days, i just need to take it out on my canvas or pick a fight with my paints.
maybe it's because it's been a bad day, and i really don't want to fight with anyone at work or on the Muni.
and it really has nothing more to do than i have too much bottled up energy, or that i'm sad about the state of the world, or who knows...

i wonder if this stuff is better in a journal than a blog, but i figure, i promised an uncensored look into my struggles with art.

so, i try to break some color rules,paint over a nice passage, or mix colors that aren't my palette.

paint is good for this kind of outlet.

clay is a good outlet too, sometimes.
i've found, though...that this kind of wrestling usually just makes for bad sculpture.

with paint, it becomes a dance with the canvas.
it's about random expression. how do we turn renegade energy into a form of expression?

a rough segue, here:

perhaps this is what the Bay to Breakers is all about --People trying to break the rules & the conventions to discover something new about themselves or others. Like Halloween, it becomes an accepted outlet to break the rules and be acceptance. It's about finding some fun in the outrageous.

notables from my first Bay to Breakers:

•if you're going to participate, make sure they take your number at the end, or you didn't do it.
can this be true? well, i was trying to make the 3:33:33 mark (rather than the 3:33:27) and my friend Finley reached over to avoid some sharp pointy object and then there it went, the moment passed. gone. we were through the gate and no one took my number. you'd think i'd have realized this sooner, but NO, not until we'd walked another mile back to the festivities.
ah well, too late... just because no one hears the tree when it falls, doesn't mean it never fell...uhm...okay, my word against the world... so you see why i fight with paint :)
• but, i can prove i walked it....things overheard "if you could bone anyone, would it be my mom or my dad?"
and people do this year after year -- Why?!
• other things...if there's going to be much skin a-bearing...must we see you scratch that "too much information" itch?
• we spotted at least 3 young women peeing in plain sight, slightly inebriated, shouting "OMG, don't look over here!"
(surely this is a sign i'm getting old, when i don't find this overwhelmingly funny).
• upstream salmon centipedes were some of my favorite -- another clue to my personality?
• dogs continued to be the true highlight of my day?
• when high-beams mean neither ceilings nor cars.
• when "can i help you adjust that?" is not meant to be helpful.
• when the alcohol checkpoint means they're checking to see if you can give them more alcohol.
okay, i'm sure there are more, but the bus ride getting there about did me in.
alright, alright... it WAS fun, but i don't think i can take that much humanity in such large doses.

i think i'll make up with my paint.

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