christmas on credit

as i walk through the downtown streets, with barely enough time to think about christmas, i watch these strange beings standing in line to make sure the love (for their loved ones, or colleagues, or distant relatives) is validated by gifts and ceremony.

i pause to wonder-- have i become jaded or have i grown wiser?

while i love the lights and festivities and spirit of giving, i question the swirl of commercialism and expectation. is this what the holidays have become?

i feel pressure and the need to be with all those whom i love, but this pressure causes me stress, which in turn makes me rebelliously social, or conversely, recoil.

i watch people borrow from their futures to buy christmas now.
i find myself borrowing time from my christmas to pay for my life now.